Back to School ... take 2

Most of my (small) blog world sweeties likely don't know that, at the beginning of January, I dropped out of Carleton University.  It just wasn't for me - starting with something like English probably didn't help either.  I struggled with making this decision.  It was very hard for me to admit defeat.  To not feel like a failure.  I looked at the withdrawl screen several times before I was actually able to hit that one button that removes me from the class.  Finally, with only hours to spare, placed the curser over the button, took a deep breath (literally), closed my eyes and clicked.  After a few more hours I felt better.  I realized that it was I that made the decision to drop out and no one else.  I didn't leave based on performance.  I didn't leave because I was failing.  It was an educated decision made knowing that, after 11 years out of school and I was not defeated.  I was leaving with a B average.  Finally, I was able to hold my head high and remove the shame that I felt.  I always felt that university wasn't for me.  I am too much of a hands on learner.  At least now I will know for sure and, in 10 years from now, there will be no questions.  I am happy and content with my decision.

All this being said ... over the past few years, I have always felt a pull towards something but never felt worthy or creative or talented enough to follow through.  After going back to school (which I did enjoy) and looking at blogs and links and images, that pull just got stronger and I finally decided to go with it.  While I don't feel creative or talented enough, I do feel worthy.  Anything that is going to expand your mind makes you worthy so .... I am now registered in the Basic Digital Photography course at Algonquin College.  It is the first of 8 classes that will earn me a Photograhy certificate.  It starts on May 3rd and I can't wait.  I am very excited and inspired and eager to see what I can do when I am not just playing. 

Regardless of whether I walk way with only knowledge and the ability to take better pictures of my Fruit Salad* or the confidence to take on some paid work during my summers off ... it seems that remembering my student number after 12 years came in handy!

*Fruit Salad - the name given by me when talking about my nieces and nephews.  Beginning with my oldest niece whom I always told "you are the apple of my eye" and continued with her sisters.  Then came my sweet nephew, Matthew.  Very stocky and plump with a teeny tiny head ... my pears were born.  When my daughter was born, we decided to give her the name Hannah.  Trying to cram in as much as I could during or short time together, I called her Hannah Banana and teased her about her name.  Months later, what I had done hit me.  My children (or child) are my bananas.  When/if my brother and sister have kids, they too will assigned sweet fruits.  And that, my bloggers, is not only what my fruit salad is, but how it originated as well.  *sigh* how I love them so ....