Sweet Nostalgia

Do you ever hear something - or come across something accidentally - that brings you back to your childhood?  I had that moment today when, for no reason that I am aware of, Musicbox Dancer popped in my head.  Honestly, I have no idea why this song has sweet memories for me but it does.  Maybe I had a jewellery box that I don't remember and the ballerina twirled to this?  The thought of this song prompted me to remember a few other things and to go through pictures that are hidden in my computer.  I have so many wonderful memories, many of which were not captured on film.  Thankfully, they live strong in my mind and heart.

~ 4 months old ~

~ 3 years old ~

~ 5 years old ~

~ me & my Momma  ...xox... ~

 ~ 11 years old ~

~ Sweet 16 with my brother & sister ~

~ me & my Dad ...xox...  ~

~ Mellisa, Chris, Steph ... Xmas 2009 ~

~ Kevin & Mellisa ~

Life has been good.  Life has had many ups and many downs and even an almost rock bottom but it is good.  I am blessed with a loving family, a few great friends and a job I love.  It is because of these moments, and so many others, that my life is full ... almost. 

Thank you for taking this quick trip down memory lane with me.

i *HEART* photography

While I don't often take (or make) the time to go out and to take photos, I absolutely love the process.  Looking at other photographers really inspires me and makes me long to learn more about being behind the lense.  Capturing that perfect shot makes me smile inside.  Applying different photo editing elements to my picture challenges me.   It is definitely a deep seeded passion that I haven't allowed to grow and come out. 

Unlike my friend, Marlene, I definitely do not have the patience for wildlife. Sitting for an hour to get that one opportunity for a bird that you have been waiting to see or that butterfly to land ever so delicately on the flower petals.  Landscape photos are fun and I do enjoy them but it isn't what captures my heart.  Families and children .. everyday moments ... the freshness of a new baby ... the innocence found in a child's eyes.  These are what pulls at my heart strings. 

Two ladies I love to admire are Jeni Boisvert and Maggie Holmes.  I first began admiring Jeni's scrapbooking style on Bad Girls but quickly learned, after a few visits to her blog, that she is a photographer by profession.  Oh what a talent.  I am actually not sure how I found Maggie Holmes, to be honest.  It was likely a link that linked to the link that eventually linked me there.  From her blog, where she posts pictures, I discovered that she too was a professional photographer and had a blog dedicated to it.  These ladies are truly talented and, if I could aspire to take photos like anyone, it would be Jeni and Maggie.  From the initial capture to the photoshop touch up to the final product, their style and flair keeps drawing me back to look for more. 

I have so much in life to figure out.  While I know the passion I would have as a teacher, it's the long road ahead that is going to give me struggles.  I am enjoying school but is there what I want to do 2 nights a week for the next 7 or so years?  For years I toyed with esthetics as a side job.  Every now and again I think ìs photography something I would - no, could - do as a second career (without giving up my current profession).  I am, by no means, a stellar photographer but is that something that evolves over time and with the addition of knowledge and practice?  So many questions and so few answers.  Wouldn't life be so much easier if we were born with a fact sheet with included what your perfect career would be as an adult?  Dare to dream ....

Creatively Mine Playlist

In the beginning, it drove me crazy when music would blare out after a blog downloaded.  Eventually, I became "one of them."  I love knowing that music that I love to listen to is at my fingertips and I love that Tanya was able to put it front and center for me so that those who don't love it, can stop it asap.

In true "Mellisa" form, I have spent a couple of hours removing, replacing and adding songs to my playlist rather than doing homework.  From the 80's, 90's and 00's (seriously ... how do you say that?  the zero-zero's?  are we now in the 10's?), I have music from many genres.  Most importantly, many more Justin Timblerlake songs have been added *sigh* including my oh-so-favourite SNL skit. (note that this skit is not only the uncensored version, it also includes the follow up skit). If you listen to my playlist, enjoy the changes.  If you don't .... the pause button is ready for you!

Fun with Friends

I ventured out to hang out with Meg and Renee for a long overdue evening together.  What was supposed to be an afternoon/evening full of creating turned into a partial 6x6 done by Renee, a partial double 12x12 done by Meg and a bunch of quilt components pinned together for the next step by me.  Regardless of the lack of creating, the evening was great thanks to the wonderful company and the great conversation.  We capped our evening off with a trip to Starbucks before calling it a night.  Thank you, ladies.  I had a great time.  Much thanks to Renee's hubby for sharing his iPod touch and making me long for an iPhone even more and to her "Wee" for her adorableness. 

The trip home passed by quickly with a pitstop at the drugstore to pick up a few things.  Imagine my excitement when, whilst standing at the cash, I spotted the most incredibly delictable bin of chocolate waiting for me.  I am not a lover of chocolate but I do get a child-like excitement when I spot my first batch of Easter Cream Eggs of the year and have been known to let out an eye-turning *gasp* when I see them.  Honestly, I just can not help myself. 

Tomorrow (Sunday) will see me spending the day bunkered down in Starbucks with a very specific mission.  Operation: Homework.  I have some reading to do and really need to get started on my essay.  Doing it at home seems so much more logical than making the 30 min trek into the city but I am just not able to focus at home like I do when I am out.  Plus, there is just something soothing about sitting at Starbucks, laptop and books in hand, and enjoying a vanilla bean frappicino.  I seriously think that one of my three local towns really should consider in internet cafe with couches and comfy chairs.  I know I would be there all the time.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Friendship Rediscovered

Thank you for understanding.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

Thank you for being you.

I had a great afternoon talking and laughing and am so grateful to The Works for letting us spend 4 uninterrupted hours rekindling our friendship. 

a SPAtacular evening

What a great day to end off the week - great food at Le Caveau de Szechuan, a relaxing few hours at an outdoor spa, a night cap and all with a great friend. 

After realizing that we were both in dire need of a relaxing night out, Tanya and I planned our evening to the spa. I have been wanting to go to Le Nordik Spa for years but have never made it.  What a wonderful place.  So calm and relaxing.  It was wonderful.  The hot tubs were perfect, the cold tubs were freezing but felt good and the relaxation room was just that.  Having always wanted to experience this in the winter, I and so happy we went ... but am not sure that I will again.  Fall or spring is now my ideal time.  No frozen towel, no soaking wet housecoat,  no ice coated flip flops and no wet hands sticking to the metal rails as you exit the bath.  Despite all of those little funny moments, it truly was a great night and I slept more soundly than I have in months.  Hopefully Tanya and her Mom (who joined us too) did too after their stressful two weeks.

{{{{{{{{  HUGS to you. }}}}}}}}  I had a fabulously wonderful time.

(photos borrowed from Le Nordik)

My One Little Word: Week 1

Today marks the end of my first week embracing my 2010 word - - CHANGE.  I have started by doing little things and have already noticed a difference, much to my surprise. 

• 
  
  Housekeeping is not my favourite thing (but is it anyones, really?).  With only K and I, it is easy to let the dishes go a day or two if we have had a small meal or leftovers or let the pile on the island may get bigger throughout the week rather than doing something with it ASAP.  This week I made a promise to myself to spend a minimum of 15 extra minutes a day doing something that I wouldn't normally do until a weekend clean where it takes me a few hours to get all I need to get done.  I havent perfected it yet (sometimes the fatigue wins and the 7 hours sleep in 2 days takes over)
  
• 
  
  I pay more attention to what is going on in the woodstove.  I hate the woodstove.  While it provides a great amount of heat, it is dirty and smelly and gross.  My to K's happiness, I spend more time making sure there is enough wood in there to keep it going ... and even bringing wood in from outside (okay - only sometimes and when I have no choice but at least I am doing it rather than letting the fire dwindle down.  That has to count for something, doesn't it??)
  
• 
  
  I am the worst when it comes to taking care of my skin. More specifically, my face. I often go to bed with make-up on and don't use the proper products to keep it healthy. Step 1 - pour shampoo in hand. Step 2 - lather hair. Step 3 - extend suds downward to wash face. Step 4 - all-in-one rinse. I moisturize when I get out of the shower but never through the day. Let's face it ... I am getting older. There, I said it! My 7th annual 29th birthday is around the corner and it's time to make sure I don't look years beyond my age so, every night before bed, I am now washing my face with proper face care products and moisturizing with a night cream.
  
• 
  
  I am using my creative side every day. Whether it be photoshop, photography or scrapbooking (which I did tonight for the first time since the last weekend of April 2009). It feels good. You-tube is my best friend. I am following photoshop tutorials to try new things. Thanks to the ~Artist 365~ challenge on Facebook, I have been motivated. Below is the cover to my "One Little Word" album. I have decided to do the whole thing out of 5x7 canvas, using one side per month to recap the journey. There are alot of the fine details lost in the photo (not to mention that is simply isn't the best photo out there) but it is done with the exception of a few minor tweaks I want to do.   That was my goal - done - now on to the next project.
  

~Artist 365~ Self Portrait Tuesday

Simply put ....

((((((I have the bestest friend in the whole wide world.  Love you and thank you.  Can't wait til Friday. ))))))

~Artist 365~ Pure Sweetness

While many people chose to participate in several "Photo-a-Day" or "Layout-a-Day" groups, I know that there is now way that I will commit myself to that.  Even if I started out with the best of intentions, I know that, at some point down the road, I will not continue.  While reviewing my Facebook daily feed yesterday, I saw that a fellow scrapper joined a group called ~Artist 365~.  Intrigued, I went to check it out and loved what I saw.  As the title says, it is a year long challenge but it is simply the challenge to be creative.  Whether it be scrapbooking, photography, or creative writing, anything goes as long as you are being creative.   To me and for me, that is feasible and realistic. If you are on my Facebook Friends list, I have created an album as a place to post this creative goodness.  Otherwise, I will post things on my blog randomly.

I love Photoshop.  I am in awe of what can be done using Photoshop.  Unfortunately, I do not know how to use Photoshop.  I have a basic understaning -- maybe even more than some of my blog buddies -- but I am limited.  I long to do really cool photo edits.  I drool over designers like Rhonna Ferrar and Jessica Sprague and, even thought I would never give up my chunky scrapbooking ways, I would love to be able to edit photos like they do or create elements to add to those pages.  Tonight I started out looking for a simple tutorial on photo editing and wound up following a Jessica Sprague tutorial.  I would have loved to done all the elements as she did them but alas ... I didnt find everything easy to follow.  Because we use different software, some things could not be figured out.  Regardless, I am good with the final product.  I even used brushes for the first time  As I grow more and make *change* to my level of knowledge, maybe I will revisit this tutorial in the future and create another digital layout.  In the meantime ... happy creating.

 

                        

My One Little Word - 2010

Last year I joined Ali Edwards on her "One Little Word" journey.  My word was 'Baby.'  After many failed attempts to get pregant and the devastation of multiple losses, I decided to do more than just try.  I took action to better myself physically and mentally and it worked.  My word became my reality and to say we were overjoyed was an understatement.  Sadly, it wasn't meant to be and we never made it past the first trimester.  For 2010 I will move forward with last year's word still in mind but will open it up to allow a greater journey.  For 2010, my one little word will be ....

Not one specific change but change in all areas of my life.  Change with my habits & hobbies.  Change with school & work.  Change with family & friends.  Change with my mental & physical self. 

It is not one big thing but many little things.  It is striving to be the best that I can me for my family, my friends and, most importantly, myself.

Goodbye 2009 - Hello 2010

~*~ HAPPY NEW YEAR ~*~

It seems like only yesterday that the world was in a tizzy and preparing for the everything to crash when '1999' changed to '2000' but here we are, beginning our second decade, and the world is still functioning (or dysfunctioning depending on what part of the world you are looking at). In regards to my where-abouts these past few months, I have been here - quietly but here none the less. Since I have done absolutely nothing in the world of crafting since April, it didn't make much sense to keep my blog here, sitting stagnent. Because of this, Creatively Mine was shut down for a while. I tried to make it disappear but it would only let me password it. For those of you who wondered if I had shut you out, I did not. I was the only one with access. I am not one who often makes reference to my personal journey on my blog and mainly use it as a creative outlet, with the occassional you-tube funny, so there honestly was nothing to update about. (btw - I don't think that there is anything wrong with sharing your life on blogs, I just dont seem to other than the rare occassion, is all)

I can't believe that it is already 2010 and that I am almost 36. Where has the time gone? Personally, I am thankful that 2009 is over. While there were moments to cherish and remember, it was not a good year overall. 2009 has seen the end of friendships there were very dear to me. Because of how it played out, it resulted in my becoming very insecure about those who remain and questioning the true sincerity of those friendships. 2009 saw dreams coming true but turning into a nightmare with the discovery that I was pregnant again ... finally. Several ultrasounds revealed that it just wasn't meant to be and, at 11 weeks, I was no longer pregnant. This made first trimester loss number 4 in addition to losing Hannah. Added to that is the stress of self-employment and, even though it is not I who is self-employed, it has been allowed to come into our home and affect us in many ways. Struggles with myself. Stuggles with weight gain after weight loss. Struggles with marriage. Struggles with knowing I should have been 7 months pregnant and am not. Struggles with yet another Christmas without my daughter. This has all taken me to a place I have never been before. This place is very dark. Very sad. Very lonely. I do not like it here.

Welcome 2010. A new year. A fresh start. A year that I will continue my journey towards healing. A time when I will try and find peace in my childless life, as I had started to before becoming pregnant again. A time when I will once again seek physical health and add to that the journey for good mental health as well. I will continue to grow academically with more courses at Carleton. I will make time to create. I will create. I will put my life back together with or without those who are there now. I will live for me. Anything else that happens, anyone that happens, will just be an added blessing. I will work towards the light and find the happiness that I found a year ago. This is my promise to myself and it begins now - with this blog post, with the discovery of my 2010 word and with a crafting session on the weekend. I can't wait.

Wishing you the happiest and healthiest of 2010. May all your dreams come true and may you find peace in a world that doesn't always give you everything you hope for.

{{{ HUGS }}}